Emotions

i just read Ashley's blog. It inspired me to write this one, well mostly because I'm feeling some of that too, just for different reason. For reasons I cannot explain, I feel frustrated and annoyed. And disappointed, and sort of like a failure. I don't really know who to, maybe just myself. I feel like I have to start over at something, again, I cannot say and do not want to say, but no it has nothing to do with ANY of you. Just me. Just my problems. Christmas is coming. Do I care? Not really. Only for the break from work, my petty three days. ANd to give things to others. I like to make people happy. Do I sound pessimistic? TO me I do but I feel in a pessimistic mood. Maybe not the best time to write a blog. THrough everything with my family my celebration and view of Christmas has changed. And it really does have a lot to do with all the EXTRA stuff we add into Christmas. For me now, all it's really about is spending time with people, the festive season and the giving part. That I can live with. ALl the other stuff doesn't really matter anymore. ALl the people going insane in the mall so they can find the most ABSOLUTELY PERFECT gift. It kind of seems stupid. Because some people get so greedy and that's what it's all about. It would be nice if we could go back to traditional Christmas. Where time spent with people was the most important thing ever about the season. not the decorating and the spending and the gimmee's. I feel a bit angry right now. i don't know why. Well I do. Just everything seems so hard. And a little part of my life si crumbling. Not huge. Just a bit. I feel kind of helpless. ANd i feel frustrated. I just want things to work out. I'm rambling. please ignore pretty much everything I'm saying. I'm just talking, hhoping something will make sense. It's rainging. Isn't that weird? First snow, then melting, and then of all things....rain. And then guess what? It's going to freeze and we're going to have a big skating rink. YAy! Accidents! We're watching Home Alone on Sunday. pretty much my favourite Christmas movie. ANd How the Girnch stole Christmas with Jim Carrey. This typin gis pretty messy because I'm just looking at my hands and not at the screen. It's kind of whacked. Tonight I'm going to a Christmas Party for my work....and no I don't think I'm missing out because I'm not going on the sledding thing for youth, I wish I was there because of the youth adn Because of a youth leader. But I haven't missed one yet, and I thought it would be good if I showed up at the work party to show them that they matter to me too, and that jus tbecause they dont' go to church with me, that I don't care and that I actually want to be there with them. THat's basically why I'm going and I would say that's a pretty good reason. SO there. Good night to all and to all a good night.