One of Those

I'm having one of those days. When nothing seems to be going right, and you know, my week was all right, not great, or awesome, but all right. And then suddenly you're around your friends and stuff and just all this stuff is happening inside you or outside you. And you're confused and upset. Everything kind of seems to suck right now. I would rather this happen during the week cause then I could actually enjoy my weekend. But I'm not right now. I'm tired.....and I don't know, I really kind of want some sugar. I hate that feeling. I am definetly not a person who uses food to try to fill an empty space inside of me because if I did I would probably be overweight. But you know you have those days where you feel is you do have some comfort food, like say....chicken noodle soup, or grilled cheese sandiwiches. And I'd say chocolate is pretty good. You somehow feel that maybe the world would be right again. And I hate when I think things are alright, and even things with God are good, I've been reading my Bible and trying to talk to Him on a regular basis, and you think because of that things will be okay. But somehow it doesn't work that way, I wish it did because it would be like....instant Band-aid. But it's not. The weeks go by so fast now, they all blend together. Last week feels like two days ago. This year is going by so fast, but not fast enough at the same time. How can that be? Things with my parents have been pretty good. I like it. They are my family and they definetly have been the ones I've turned to the most this year. That wasn't like that last year, far from it. It's funny how things change so much. People change, situations change. SOmetimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. I know this might sound really dumb, or a doubting moment but I feel this way from time to time. I feel like we are caught in this vicious cycle. I'm not mad at God or anything, I just wonder about things, and think about them, and they make no sense to me. I wonder why God made the earth. Because we ended up sinning, and now our vicious cycle is hard. To get to heaven we need to know Jesus as our personal Saviour. And then to actually stay Christians and have some kind of reward we have to work our butts of everyday to bring God to other people, so they can know Him. I always feel like I never do a good enough job. That I'm going to get to heaven and God is going to say, " you didn't do anything for me." When I tried so hard but I just never did the right things, i just didn't get it. Why did GOd make us? He could have not made us and then avoided this whole problem. Now lots of people go to hell and endure pain and suffering because we're here. Why couldn't we just not be here in the first place? I don't understand. And this is what I think about. It will never change my faith in God, or the fact that I want other people to know His love. But it just does not make sense to me at times. Life does not make sense.