Too Much?
My brain hurts. I'm exhausted with my life and I need some new refreshing energy. I just feel basically like there's so much to do, too little time. I'm working 42.5 hours a week, yes that is the exact amount. I have piano to think about. This is something where I have to put a lot of time and effort into it for audition/auditions? I'm stressed about where I should go to school or if I will get accepted anywhere but the U of S. I think Brandon would be a good school to go to but I don't know if I can get in. This is where homeschooling is holding me back. But where there's a will there's a way and if that's where God wants me to go, I will go even if it takes me another year to get there. and then there is Africa. The fundraising is going to be a lot of work, I know this. Sometimes I think right now would be a good time to be hermit. Nobody else to think about. But where it the love and humanness in that? I don't know. Am I taking on too much? I believe God wants me to go to Africa. And I really do believe that He wants me to take music. At least that's what I think right now, but there's almost nothing compared to the feeling of playing music for me. And succeeding at that. It's something I actually could be good, great even. SO much stuff to think about. And then I wonder, if God wants me to do all these things, why do they all have to happen at the same time? Life could just be simple for once. The stress is pushing down on me. And yet I survive. It's amazing the stress and pressure the human body can take without crumbling, without suffocating, and endure. WE have so much will to succeed and press on. A fight instinct perhaps. I don't really think I've ever been this busy. But yet I'm tired. And feeling a little bit defeated. What if I do leave this city? My home where I've grown up, I've been here since I was 1 1/2. That's a long time. My life is here. Sometimes God calls us to make a life elsewhere though. At least temporarily. if I have to go, it'll break my heart. But hearts heal, and mend, and find new oppurtunities. I guess at this moment I'm a little bit optimistic and a little bit pessimistic about life. And I leave you with this....dream BIG!
"You can't outdream God."
A quote by someone I don't have the name of right now and Im' too tired to go look for it. But it is powerful, don't you agree. If we started dreaming really BIG, what could God do in this world?
posted by Leah @ 4:04 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Well Leah, you are dreaming big and that is awesome. As much as I wouldn't want you to leave and go to Brandon..I still want you to succeed in life even if it is there. All I have to say is practice that classical/jazz...cuz that'd be Brandon University School of Music for ya! One of the top schools in Western Canada woohoo...wouldn't that be an honer to get in to that! I know you can if you are up to the challenge just work hard and don't let the stress that over your body...in other words learn to relax a bit and just have a good time! I love you! and I will see you friday!
Hey, Leah, I am glad to see you dreaming big. And your right we can never out dream God. If God wants you to go to brandon then he'll make it happen and the other side of it is he knows what you need before you even ask. He'll provide for you. I want to wish you the best of luck with your auditions and everything else. Have fun, relax a little. God Bless.
If i have learnt anything, TAKE TIME TO RELAX!!!! don't do anything for a while, just sit and do nothing watch tv, read a book. this will help with the busyness. Say no to people and hang out with God.. Don't stress out to much you are too young to stress out! things will work out eventually and if you focus on eternity God will open the doors in your life in His perfect timing, don't focus on when He is going to open the doors but Focus on the final door He will open to eternity!
I forgot about lunch didn't I. I'm sorry. I missed church. I am stressed out too, but I won't bore you with that. I don't even have time to blog, but I thought I would read yours and see if you made any nasty comments about how I missed lunch because, yes, I am that important. I'm sorry you are having it rough. Life calls for times like these. It seems to me like nothing has changed with us, all this busy-ness. It's all the same and its not fun and gives us the same feelings time and time again. It's much better when you try to have fun with it and ask God to multiply your time. You will learn to enjoy it. Pastor do it all the time. I love you to pieces and I will see you tomorrow....Friday...wow..Bible College has taught me so much. Anyways...buhbie.
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.....so I am still learning to listen. I am having some trouble understanding, not you, but just God. Ofcourse, you are still a mystery, but so is the rest of your life Leah. A mystery, one that God knows every detail about, and thus it is no mystery to God, but like all mysterys, you will find directions, and you follow them. Go where you are lead to go, do what you are lead to do, and remember, God wont break your heart, he made it, and so it will do what he made it to do.
Take care of yourself.
TraV
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