Choices
I want to be able to make my own choices. And by this I don't mean I don't want other people's advice, but I want people to stop thinking they can control my life or people in it. I am 18 years old. Shouldn't I be able to make my own grown up decisions? I feel like I'm at the age where I'm too old and too young. I'm stuck in between. And other people seem to think it's okay to control aspects of my life. Or think that in the end, the final decision is up to them. And if I go against that when they tell me not to do something, is that dishonouring when I think it's alright and they are just stuck on their little plan they had for my life. This is exactly what it was going to turn out like.....go to university right after high school, come out with a nice degree to make me a nice amount of money, get married to someone who has to fit their mold. It just makes me feel so angry and so trapped. Can I not make my own decisions now?? I'm not a child. Especially huge important ones that mean soooo much to me. If I had that freedom it surely does not mean I would go and act horribly, or do something unforgivable, but it would give me some room to breathe and not to fret about stuff. Freedom. Inevitably, why do parents think they always know what's best, like mother knows best or whatever. EVeryone has amotive for what they want you to do, sometimes it's good , sometimes it's bad, and sometimes they were just set on something and they can't accept that you don't want that. So they push it on you.
Tomorrow is halloween. A holiday that I don't think is bad, it's not my favourite, but who doesn't like dressing up and getting candy. I only got to do that once when I was little. I sure got a lot of candy that year. i was a big green M&M. i even had the little boots and gloves that they wear. But I have passed that stage and tomorrow I am going to hand out candy, which I think is going to be fun. it's amazing how little it takes to bring me joy sometimes, lol.
Anyways, venting helps but it doesn't change the problem.
posted by Leah @ 4:50 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I think it quite cool of you to come out and say all that. I have often been told what I could be great at, what I could do well at. People hear that I dont plan to do those things and they are distrought? What, its my life, like you said. Besides, it's not like I have a plan for a career right now...Im 18! I have bigger isues right now than deciding what I want to do as a career. I want to live for God, who knows, maby I will never have a career, I just want to be Jesus to those who dont know Em. But what matters to me most now, is being near to God, and dooing what He tells me to do, My parents learned long ago that I will listen to what they want for me, but rearely will I ever go along with it. But we are two very differnt people as far as familys go huh?? Thats cool though. Leah, do what you want, do what you feel is right by God, dont stress, listen to those who would have you do what they want out of respect or something, but walk away and say to God, gee where is there head at?? :) (look at that, I just told you what to do....lol, sorry!) It always makes me laugh, Im odd though. Anywho, I will be of very litle help and just pray for you or something ;)Coffee some time?? call me.
Leah, I totally understand where you're coming from. or, lol, closely I guess. Life is definitely a balancing act in terms of where input from others leaves off and where you just have to decide when the heck to do with your life! I've been reading in Eccelessiates (i really have, I just can't spell it....), and its such an emo book! but it talks about how anything that we do on earth is basically meaningless, the end result will just end up the same. But, then of course, Jesus talks about living life to the fullest and using what we have wisely. So, though these decisions and people giving (sometimes un-wanted) input can be stressful, just remember that you are living for JESUS! He gave you life, people aren't perfect, but He knows exactly what is best for you. And, if you tune in, it'll decode. I love you tons Leah! And I miss chatting with you! we should get together soon! I need a "Leah talk". lol much love
Geneva
good post leah,
good thoughts
ashley
love yah! :)
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