I'm not going to be a sideliner

Ow! my face hurts....that's the benefits of being a swimming teacher...being in the water more hours than someone would want to, even for fun. But it pays tuition....and that's all that counts I guess.

Also, this is my second blog in a month, which is impressive, considering we all stopped blogging a long time ago. I am listening to Christopher Parkening: A Bach Celebration. I have to say it is amazing!! I will never be sick of it which is quite astonishing since I have been hearing this arrangment since I can't remember. My dad played it in the car all the time when I was younger. A lot younger, like 10 years ago or more.

I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life for a very long time. Since I was possibly 11 years old. I think my first idea was a librarian, my only basis for this reasoning being that I loved to read. I could think of nothing better than to spend my time amongst that which brought me great joy. As a sidenote, it still bring me great joy but not enough to be a librarian. Then I wanted to be a psychologist. Just the word itself was interesting. Then I considered being a youth pastor. That apparently was another phase. I then switched back to Psychology. Then I wanted to be a concert pianist. Then I thought about being a missionary. Then a naturopathic doctor. Then a psychologist....this seems to be a recurring thing for me. I still am not decided but have come to the conclusion that this is alright. I will eventually get there but it will take some intiative on my part. I have decided I dislike the question, " do you know what you want to do with your life?" I admit that I ask people that all the time. You always end up doing a whole bunch of different things with your life. A lifetime can be a long time for some people and to know what you want to do with all of that is a pretty monumentous question.

One thing I know I don't want to be is a sideliner. I don't want to be one of those people who stands by and watches the world, as the audience and not the actor. I don't want to be someone who admires people but never thinks that I have the potential to make a difference as they are. I don't want to be someone who looks at who I am now and thinks because of that I can never be like that person or never do as great of things as they can. I want to seize my moment. I don't want to be a person of bad character and committing acts of evil, but I also don't want to be someone who is afraid to step out and stop being invisible. Being visible can be scary. As we step out and stand up, we need to realize that life won't always be perfect. Just because we stand up for God doesn't mean we will always be clothed, have a full belly, or be safe. Look at those who stood up for GOd and who were eaten by lions. Sometimes moving from invisibility to visibility means death! but we can we know we are always moving towards God and His love whatever we do, it we are following after God's heart. This is what is on my mind right now. Make life happen, don't stand still and let it happen to you!

-Jesus promised his disciples three things-that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.-

G.K. Chesterton
British Writer and Apologist
1874-1936

The Western World

Sometimes I struggle with something. Sometimes I put it to the back of my mind and try to ignore my part in this struggle. This struggle is my incompetence at being a Christian at times. I also am very frustrated with they way we people are in North America. Very few people discuss religious beliefs. The conversations I've had with people are very limited. We make religion such a touchy subject. I realize that this is probably the case in many countries. But the thing is, I know that everyone thinks about this and struggles with it sometime in their life, maybe they do continuously. So why is it so off limits? Why does everyone suddenly get uncomfortable when the topic comes up? I think it's because each person thinks their own world view is right. And when we talk about it we're trying to convince the other that our world view is the only way to go.

A question I've been thinking about lately is, " how much do you believe in your god/religion that you would die for it? are you that sold on it? Or are you believing it because you need to feel secure, you want to feel safe that you know what's going to happen to you when your life ends? Do you believe that this religion is the answer for the world? Do you believe it can change the sorry condition, the sin condition of people?"

I read stories of the underground church and I see their fervency for the Gospel to be spread, their willingness to die for it. I see the purity and realness of their faith. And I think how many of us in Western Churches are like that? Is that why we belive we're here on this earth? To spread the gospel? Why aren't we continuing to strive to be more pure, strive to be more like Jesus? Are we willing to put our reputations, our securities, our lives on the line for what we believe. Or are we like everyone else? And I struggle with this in my own life. It haunts me, there's something more I need to be. If I believe in Jesus Christ with everything, why doesn't my life show it? I want to share this quote from a Jesus Freaks Book. V2. This passage is one that makes me feel sad at my lack of conviction for not sharing Christ with everyone I meet. If I had done that, who knows it there may have been more Christians in the world right now?

"What encourages us to preach the gospel in captive nations is that there those who become Christians are full of love and zeal. I have never met one single lukewarm Russian Christian. Former young Communists become exceptional disciples of Christ.....
Whoever has known the spiritual beauty of the undergroudn church cannot be satisfied anymore with the emptiness of some Western churches.....
One out of every five people in the world live in Communist China, where thousands of Christians evangelize without "permission." Persecution has always produced a better Christian, a soul winnning Christian. Communist persecution has backfired and produced serious, dedicated Christians such as are rarely seen in free lands. These people cannot understand how anyone can be a Christian and not want to win every soul they meet....
These millions of dedicated, true and fervent believers in the lay church have been purified by the very fires of persecution which the Communists hoped would destroy them......
In a letter smuggled out secretly, the underground church said, " we don't pray to be better Christians, but that we may be the only kind of Christians God meant us to be: Christlike Christians, that is, Christians who bear willingly the cross for God's glory."

Richard Wurmbrand
Founder of Voice of the Martyrs
Spent Fourteen Years in a Communist Prison
Romania
1940's. 50's, and 60's