Running
I just want to run. Run hard, run fast, run far away. Run till it hurts, till it takes away the pain inside. Run from sadness and unhappines. Run from loliness and disappointment. But I'm too smart for that, too responsible, too good. I know that it will follow me wherever I go. Running won't help. If there was a way I would. I'd rather have my body ache than ache inside. I want to run to escape. There is no escape. Things never get better. They just get worse. I think they get better but I'm soon proven wrong. Sadness likes to leave it's mark, it's scars. There's no way to get out. I try to explain but....it doesn't seem as big, like it even matters when you try to tell it, what life is like. If it isn't big or if it doesn't matter, why does it hurt then? Why do the tears come if it's not really that bad? Why do I cry when I don't know what there is to cry about, but all I feel is pain inside? I just want to make it hurt because then I won't hurt inside anymore. To run and feel my muscles ache, and my lungs burning, and my breathing heavy. To run forever. When will life be happy again? Every part of me longs for it, to be truly happy. To not have such burdens weighing me down. To not be tormented by sadness and thoughts inside. To not want to be somewhere else. To not feel trapped like there's no way out. But what am I crying about? It's not that big a deal right? If it isn't, I want to know. Why do the tears come?
posted by Leah @ 8:04 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
As you said Leah, you are too smart for that, to try and hide. You are also too good for that. As PJ said in the last comment, “You are doing so many challenging and amazing things with your life. You have so much that you have already accomplished. Big things, eternal things. I don't always understand what you are going through, but I’ll tell you it sounds harsh. It brings me sadness to know that my friend is going through so much pain and so much sadness. I cry sometimes and I have no idea why, I just know that I feel like crying, but don't feel like you don't have a reason to cry, because I think that you do. That sounds weird, but I think you know what I mean.
Let me know how I can help, or if I can help with anything Leah. I’ll do what I am capable of. I’ll always be praying for you, you know that. Take Care Leah. Stand Firm and always look for God's direction.
hugs and luvs
ashley
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