Life still brings struggles. It always will. Here is an excerpt from my journal because I thought it portrayed what I was feeling. This is not me reasoning. This is me trying to be honest with myself and trying to get my thoughts out on paper. So I would really apprectiate everyone not telling me what's wrong with my thinking because of course I know some of these things aren't really true, but they're still thoughts and feelings we all have a times, and that what is important. I think I would really appreciate encouragement though.

March 28/06

God, I just don't know what to do. I"m trying to pyut my life in your hands. I don't know what to do half the time. What is the right thing? OR the wrong thing? It's almost like I don't look forward to the future because I'm not trusting that I'm going to like what it's going to bring. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time, 24/7. I think in my dreams I'm walking on eggshells. I don't know where I stand with people, I'm frustrated by parents, and then I have rushes of emotions that I don't like. It's like hurt, fear, powerlessness, frustration, being misunderstood, and pressure all coming in on me at once. I get this feeling in my chest like I need to cry really hard but it won't come. Maybe a tear or two but then it goes. But the mixed-up feeling remains. I don't know the rules to life. How to do the right things at the right time, how to make the right decisions. I can't seem to do anything right. I feel like my parents control me and that if I don't do what they want, I'm doing something wrong. I feel like I'm in trouble sometimes when I haven't done anything wrong. I wish life was easier. I think we all do at times.